Movin' On

There was a song a few years back by Rascal Flatts called Movin’ On. I remember it vividly. I lived those lyrics, every one. The day I heard it on the radio, I left town.  

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't

Stopped to fill up on my way out of town

I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't

I had to lose everything to find out

Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road

I moved to a new place and for about 6 months, life was one fantastic, exciting adventure to all but drown out my past. Until it fell apart and I moved again. Then the wind came whispering at my window and I moved on a whim. It turned out right and took me to another new place after. I got rid of most things I had collected through the years and kept only what I could fit in my small room. I sold my Jeep and began driving around my mom’s spare 1998 Mazda truck. My gutless wonder.  It was an effort in faith that if I could be free from all that binds me, I’d be happy one day. A true nomad. I haven't found the happiness I'm seeking. My job is highly stressful, long hours and keeps me away from friends and family. My time with them is precious and priceless, they are what matters. Work consumes my life. On the surface, it gets me status points I care less about. They aren't worth the price I've paid. I give them away, it’s the least I can do to repay my friends and family for all the times I am absent and half-crazed with stress. I thought a non-relationship might be the key. The freedom to simply be without the worry. Eventually, it found me and someone to fill the role. It came with an upsetting discovery: I couldn't stop myself, I'm utterly sold on Guy Freedom. Suddenly I realized my mom was right when she wrote to me this afternoon, “don’t be afraid to let go.”

To the sea of eyes in that great void that will never read this post--wish me luck. 

There comes a time in everyone's life

When all you can see are the years passing by

And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I'm movin' on.