Recently I have been hearing a lot about social networks--not to be confused with social media (I'm referring to everything that happens offline.) According to people who study this sort of thing in terms of psychology, economics, and to figure out why people can make more money than an entire country, a good social network is one of the keys to a successful life. So I did a brief survey in my head of my current social network. It is a tiered system: small and sturdy in the closest tier, all other relationships building into bigger tiers according to distance off of that base. Some people use a categorization social network system where each person gets placed into a box according to their role, each being utilized more or less according to their usefulness. And still others have what I call the “pinball” system. This system is exactly as it sounds. Social networking that rebounds haphazardly off anything, sometimes making connections and sometimes failing to hit anything.
I’ve been thinking a fair amount about the nature of my relationships with people. My relationship dynamic has changed. The older I get the more settled I become in my friendships. They age well. The more time passes, the finer they are. I don’t like peripheral friends much so, everyone who has made their way into my personal acquaintance, it’s an invitation to be friends. It seems a waste of effort to only know someone superficially. Good intentions aside, many times I’m too busy to put in ample effort. It’s up to the future social network member to move it past the initial stages. I always reciprocate which allows the relationship to build. That’s my relationship dynamic. And, that’s the conclusion I’ve arrived at: I believe in an idea called Guanxi. It’s how you know the rules of reciprocation and the accompanying results and strategy. This is why I believe social networks are key to the successful life. Not only is there a system of exchange, but there is a system of exchange that builds positive interactions with people who support your emotional health.
I’ve been thinking a fair amount about the nature of my relationships with people. My relationship dynamic has changed. The older I get the more settled I become in my friendships. They age well. The more time passes, the finer they are. I don’t like peripheral friends much so, everyone who has made their way into my personal acquaintance, it’s an invitation to be friends. It seems a waste of effort to only know someone superficially. Good intentions aside, many times I’m too busy to put in ample effort. It’s up to the future social network member to move it past the initial stages. I always reciprocate which allows the relationship to build. That’s my relationship dynamic. And, that’s the conclusion I’ve arrived at: I believe in an idea called Guanxi. It’s how you know the rules of reciprocation and the accompanying results and strategy. This is why I believe social networks are key to the successful life. Not only is there a system of exchange, but there is a system of exchange that builds positive interactions with people who support your emotional health.
A few real life Case Studies.
Case Study #1:
Person A grows into position of Best Friend. Mutual building of friendship relationship for a year. Separation begins due to lack of maintaining guanxi friendship. Conflict in personal ideals leads to “parenting” moments. Guanxi lost. Friendship dissolves into immaturity and indifference. Social networking becomes toxic and ceases.
Case Study #2:
Person B grows into position of Best Friend. Mutual building of friendship relationship for a year. Separation begins due to lack of maintaining guanxi friendship. Behavioral conflict affected by individual incongruent perspectives. Guanxi lost. Person B initiates Guanxi exchange. Relationship rebuilds. Friendship strengthens into maturity and longevity. Social networking healthy and increases.
On the few occasions when I was sick in the village, I received a stream of visitors. […]I had to deal with well-meaning friends. On one such occasion I must have let my irritation show; one man said, “You should be so happy to have so many people embody concern.” “Why?” I asked. “Because if they didn’t embody concern, they wouldn’t be your friends anymore.”
-Producing Guanxi
